Listening to: Kuusou Mesorogiwi - Yousei Teikoku
Watching: One Piece
Eating: Chicken with rice & potatos.
I'm listening now, at present, to a new song (titled in the...top) for the 6th or 7th time, and I'm wonder to myself - is there any meaning for all of this? Well, of course there isn't, but mypoint is that we are doind things because we decide to do them, and because there is reason for everything. but if there is reason for everything, then there is fate too? of course I, as myself, can not accept it, because if I accept fate, I'm also declaring that there is destiny and god, and that is out of the question, for me, an obvious atheist. So why? why am I waking up in the morning, and deciding to go to work, to play some game, to listen to some music, to read some book, to draw some drawings, to write some book, to go and find my new love? why? If there is no god and no destiny and no fate, so why do I have to decide? why do I have to do ANYTHING? why time even exists? whywhywhy? I have no idea. I think nobody has the idea. maybe there is no idea.
But there is one thing that is true for me. that thing is so important to me, that it justifies the existance of time and decide. And if by some weird case, god does exist, it also justifies the fate and the destiny.
People who are close to me knows what that thing is.
That thing is The Chaos.
Without it, I'm absolutly nothing. or maybe I'm still nothing. I don't know.
But I do know I have to hope.
Because at the end of things, I'm still a Human Being.